Focus on the Light, even during the dark times – or why I’m not beating myself up for skipping a blog post.

I know people who think that I’m always on the go doing something fun with my kids.  Or they believe that I’m always strong and positive.  I’m sure I contribute to that impression because, since I am an optimist, my social media tends to focus on the good things in life.  I love to share that visit to the zoo, or discovering a new park, or silly by-the-seat-of-my pants adventures that we make up as we go along.  I choose to focus on the light rather than the darkness because, after all, the grass is greener where you water it.

But that doesn’t mean things are picture perfect and easy.  That doesn’t mean that the crises and emergencies and melt downs don’t happen.  Trust me, they happen.  I make plans and feel crushed when I have to change them.  I try my best to be patient but sometimes loose my shit.  I screw up and forget kids’a activities or just make bad parenting decisions.   Work becomes stressful and sometimes adulting is just HARD.  In short, we have our share of bad days.

The past week is a perfect example of dark times.  I’ve had to adjust course, cut myself some slack, and take a deep breath in order to focus on the important stuff in life.  I cancelled travel plans. I skipped workouts.  I ordered pizza.  I skipped my weekend blog post.  I’ve ignored my online courses.  And, for once, I’m not going to berate myself for it.  Why?

This is why

Because my family needed me.  Two of my kids are experiencing some stressful things right now.  I am so grateful that I had the presence and clarity to recognize it.  I’m grateful that I am able to let some things slide or be postponed in order to be what my children need at this moment – their mommy.  I’m not going to pretend that I’ve solved their problems, but I’ve created some time and space to just be with them.  I want to let them know that they are loved so they can see the light around them when things seem dark.

I will always choose to see the light in the world.  My focus will always be on the unbelievable beauty and magic in the universe.  Yet, in an effort to be authentic, I need to acknowledge the struggles and the darkness, too.

Even on our cloudiest days, the light is there.  Sometimes we just cannot see it from where we are.  Sometimes we need a spouse, or a co-worker, or a mommy to hold us and shift our attention so that the light comes back into view.  And that, my friends, is why I skipped my blog post this weekend.

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