(Written May, 2016) Running is awesome. I look at those people who run like the wind blows and I think “Wow! I want to do that!” Then I begin a running training program. And it’s hard. And I mean really hard I enjoy working out, but since I’m about 4 foot 13 inches tall, it takes a LOT of strides to run a mile. I jog, walk, run, walk, stumble, walk, pant, and jog some more. But I keep trying. I’m even taking a running class. Deep down I’ve never felt like a runner though. I have never owned that title. I don’t know that I will ever be someone who routinely goes for a 5 mile run. Maybe some day, but not today.
Well, today is when I participated in a 5k. I say I “participated” because I didn’t run a 5k. I walked the whole thing. I watched people run as they passed me. I watched people running back and heading towards the finish line. Some of them had that amazing running form where they look like two-legged gazelles that I envy.
I walked. I didn’t push myself to jog at intervals. I didn’t use this as a training session to improve my performance. I walked. I smiled. I said hello to the runners and the other walkers. I soaked in the gorgeous views of the Mississippi River.
And I loved myself for it. I made the decision to be out there on a beautiful Minnesota spring day. I made the decision to start my day with a healthy choice. Me, the non-runner. The non-athlete. The non-Soldier. Maybe I don’t have to force myself into a title like that. I know without a doubt that I am multi-faceted and don’t quite fit into one category or another. So why do I tell myself that I’m not a runner, and if I’m not a runner, then I’m a second-class exerciser, that I’m less-worthy? That my time and effort at my health and fitness is less meaningful since I’m not going for 5 mile runs just for fun on the weekend?
There were hundreds (literally) of others who could have ran that course with their eyes closed, but DIDN’T and yet I still considered myself beneath them. I’m not here to compete to be better than anyone except myself. So why in the world, if I don’t want to be BETTER than anyone, do I consider myself LESS that anyone.
That, well, that’s just freaking dumb.
I made the choice to be there. I walked the 5k. I made a choice that was good for ME. And that is where I will keep my focus.
